Other Intentions Disguised As Cultural Queries
I met bob after he had pestered a colleague of
his about Hinduism, and he was told I would be better at answering his queries.
Now it occurs to me that he could have been answered by any of his hundreds or
so colleagues but they did not wish to have any complications in their working
relationships - and complications there were bound to be, which they had sensed
being a little more wise and a lot more smart.
When we met at his home for a dinner party he
threw when his family visited he finally began. The very first question he
asked is - "how does one covert to Hinduism?" I thought that was a
strange question, but this thought was subconscious and not very strong - it
was only that such a query was quite unusual. And the answer was obvious to anyone
on earth. Hinduism does not require conversion for practicing any or all of it
from anyone - it is a matter of evolution and transformation. Tens of thousands
of visitors have stayed on unnoticed in India and unless they involve
themselves in a crime they are rarely deported or even noticed much. And they
are free to enquire into our thought and adapt as they like; and if they would
sit under a tree and meditate genuinely, villagers even feed them, as they
would anyone in search of their soul. Neither this nor a conversion is an
immediate push-button mechanism.
In that conversation I was taken aback and so
laughed a little and said, it is not a club one can join, it is rather a matter
of transformation, of your own evolution. You can read and talk to people and
find out what and how much you wish to grow. It is more like a university where
you can learn as much or as little as you like.
And then the sheep's wool turned a bit - he
said, "but last week we went to a temple, and they did not let us
in." Obviously that rankled, and it was a complaint. I laughed with shock
and said - "but the temple is not a jail, and if you really wish to see
God it is perfectly possible outside the temple or in anything and everything.
Pick your favourite
tree, xmas tree, even, and you can worship it (which in fact is what most xmas
celebrations amount to, worship of life of earth, and it is a worthy
celebration too) - ceremony or in your heart, whatever - and you might see God
in that. As for temples, the priest has a right to not allow someone,
especially someone that is not a practicing Hindu, to enter, since it is a functioning temple
and not a museum, not a place to satisfy curiosity and take pictures. Still,
there would probably be other temples where they might let you in, and there is
no central authority, it is up to individual priests. You can have your own
temple at home for all that, and have a priest come and do the religious
ceremonies, and if one or more do not oblige yet another might, it is up to
each one to decide."
They were surprised at the information that
every home generally has a little temple, and women in particular are not
always able to go to a temple, so it is enough to be able to have one at home
then.
They seemed disappointed, a bit upset, and I
further explained that perhaps that priest was unsure they had showered -
Europeans don't always every day, though most people in U.S. are at least
familiar with the idea that one should, and a lot do in fact - and those that
do follow our hygiene practices (such as do not put back a spoon into the
common pot after having put it into your mouth, wash hands properly at all
necessary occasions and before and after various activities, shower every
morning before leaving home or eating) can already be considered halfway there,
your individual beliefs are less of a concern in Hinduism. In fact you are free
to try to start your own and if you are any good people would respect, even
revere you; but people are not fools, and frauds do not ultimately survive. On
the other hand no one is compelled to follow anything or even go to the temple,
any temple.
They were then still more upset, but went on
to ask about why certain religions insist on women wearing a complete covering.
I said that the religion originated in west Asian deserts and the heat and
dust, and men wear similar covering too, only in different colours perhaps or
often not even that. When one lives in such climate it is far more cooling to
wear a loose tent around oneself and cover all but eyes, for protection. We
have all seen pictures of various males such as political leaders, or others, sheikhs, princes, whatever.
They were not convinced and said - but they
wear such clothes even in other countries where it is not necessary. I said,
yes, people confuse climate with culture. At this they realised it was probably
safer not to pursue the topic. (After all we all know about Europeans who stuck
to dressing for dinner in woollen suits, even woollen underclothing often, in
hot tropics; and missionaries who shamed sensible tribals into wearing the
same. It is another story that the same Europeans went to American continents
and took to wearing as little as possible when climate required it, as long as
they were not at a stress to separate themselves from local native Americans.
So bikini is dress du jour in California although in south America they
probably still wear European clothes, and so forth.)
I did not then realise why they were
dissatisfied and tried to make it pleasant but it wasn't really free flowing
much after that. It took a few more meetings with Bob and a sweet neighbour of
his who spoke little but understood far more than he did, before it dawned on
me that Bob had other purposes in mind, chief of which was to steer the
conversation to How To Make Indians and Hindus and Everyone Else Change By Making
Them Realise That The Only Way Is To Be Like Americans By Dropping Your
Culture, Changing Your Lifestyle (and your religion if it is different from his
fellow US people), and so forth. When he was frustrated he began to be more and
more offensive; when I perceived that that was quite intentional and not at all
due to casual mistakes of ignorance or oversight, I stopped meeting him cold
turkey. A lot of conversation happened meanwhile in the few - three or four -
meetings, meanwhile.
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