What do the evil want, why do they hit and destroy and attempt to murder their victims, usually superior to themselves? Simple - they are looking to bring them down to their knees in supplication, and grovel. "Please don't hit me" - The Plea The Evil Seek From The Victims, (and sometimes don't ever get). Does it satisfy them? Not likely - when finished with one victim, or merely begun, they go on to another, and more. Not that different from murderers.
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Recent visit by the baby sister brought in some things and brought out a great deal of memories submerged, so much so some writing frightened a friend who read just one or two of the pieces. I assured her I survived it and it was over forty years ago. I am not sure I have assured her, but more importantly I am far more unsure of the survival part, for those that intended this sacrifice of a daughter of the son of the family had all sorts of powers they used for ill of those they hated for being better, and I am only now becoming dimly aware of those powers - and that because they intend it so, so I should be frightened out of wits. Browbeating alone did not do it, social storm hitting me did not do it, and nor did physical abuse or worse. So black magic it is they have to resort to increasingly, and they have.
Some people look askance and say nothing, some attempt obliquely to point out there is no such thing. Unless they too are kicked the same way, there is no convincing them, and I am tired of pointing out neither Divine nor occult in general is disproved by lack of proof to those that cannot see it, any more than light or colours are by the inability of the blind to perceive it, and so forth. Some forcefully tell me they need no word from me about how to survive - and yet when threatened by anything serious they contact me, never mind they threw me out years before when I could no longer take their deliberately intended and often publicly delivered inflictions of injury, false accusations, fraudulent statements, insults and more. That I refrained from retaliating in kind for various considerations, not for my sake by for theirs or someone else's or for sake of sheer code of conduct itself, did not and has never been a consideration for them in deciding it is safe to proceed to behave thus for ever.
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Often enough memories stay and reasons for behaviour of various people in unreasonable ways or worse is not questioned, until a point when it occurs to one that such a connection of why or how might help.
One such memory was about the other grandmother (- not the one who brought us up who was mother's mother, who worked hard and asked really for nothing, and yet was abused by the in laws of the mother who saw no reason to not hurt their own blood either, choosing me for a suitable victim for being my mother's firstborn, and so a suitable means of hurting her -) and her various other relatives that visited during that year when we were made to live with her - the other grandmother - away from the parents who visited US, and thus gave all these people a chance to conduct a vendetta on my mother for being superior, by inflicting all sorts of injury on her firstborn, me.
This particular memory was about how often I would arrive home in the afternoon to see them - the rest including my younger sister - were sitting together, and I was specifically informed that they had all partaken of some attractive food together but left nothing for me. I had understood the game, the idea was not only that I was deprived but informed of this so I would be provoked and this could be reported against me to all and sundry across the state and incidentally to their son in US who could punish me and be convinced that I was not the brilliant daughter - his firstborn - that he was proud of.
I did not react to this being informed of the not being included in the special food, partly because that was natural to me - mother often told me she thought a firstborn takes what is given and does not fight unlike the later children who think they need to fight for a share or more - and they were probably disappointed, and further goaded into a more vicious vendetta. I have no clue what they wrote in their missives to US prepaid for by the son in US, but later sometime when she could not stand how he was conducting the vendetta for years in a sustained way intended to not merely inflict all sorts of injury but to destroy me in every way, she informed me a bit about those missives.
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Now I suddenly wondered why I was not around when they did those afternoon snack sessions, and what reason could they give to anyone if I had complained. Obviously they would say I was not around, but I hardly ever went to play in the neighbourhood, and either the long library sessions of the evening or the playing with school friends was strictly post afternoon tea, and before dinner.
And the answer to where I was, what was I doing the afternoons when I missed those sessions was after all right there, merely for me to look for it before I saw it - I was at school. The other two girls at home - my sister and a cousin - had school in the morning and were home for lunch, and had the rest of the day to do what they liked. I went to school about noon and only returned about six.
I am not sure if they were punishing me for going to school at all - it was not an option, at ten years of age, but perhaps they would have liked me to discontinue, and this is supported by their son subsequently insisting I give up education in order to be a housemaid to him. That was when I was eleven, and we had all returned to the capital and he had attempted to murder our mother physically. I am now told by the baby sister who visited that this attempt was due to a letter from his sister.
Am I supposed to respect someone who had never had any judgement of his own, and was a pawn to the malicious relatives, and blinded to the virtues of the person he pursued for years giving up the girlfriend of his of years and years who had in fact wanted to marry him? Why did he not see his children for what they were worth, rather than giving an excuse to his wife for his conduct in the influence of his evil relatives?
No, one cannot respect someone like this, and not because of bad judgement but because of his own viciousness, not the physical abuse but the manipulations and fraud and deliberate inflictions of injury in conducting a long vendetta to destroy first the wife, then one daughter and another when it seemed he might fail, for decades.
It is hard to understand why a person would do this long vendetta for decades using every possible means including occult power, because that last backfires far more than any other bad behaviour and hurting someone innocent. But now I see someone who is conflicted in depth of her being and resorts to similar behaviour, similar means - and there it is plain to sight, why.
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He and those like him, whether his sisters or mother or anyone else of the sort, could not ever stand anyone being better and - or - doing well without burning with not merely jealousy and attempting to correct what they saw as danger to their own supremacy, and this attempt to correct was manifold.
One, spread lies and insist that the person everyone else thinks is good is really horrible in most unexpected ways by rumours not provable but of nature that like minded would love to believe, soothing themselves and their own jealousy burned hearts.
Two, inflict injuries of every possible sort, from screaming and false accusations to treating the intended victim as if she (no use victimising someone potentially powerful, but such mistakes are made too by those a bit inept due to their lineage not quite so evil) were a bought and legal slave, and hence fair game.
Three, attempt to provoke the victim in every passive aggressive way known into being less than full of peace and felicity and silence, so the screaming in agony of the victim could be reported as a horrible behaviour everyone should beware of.
And finally, make it relentless - if the victim is around, kick her everywhere and insist she get out; if she does leave, spread pamphlets and telephone conversations galore to every possible social connection of hers to inform them how bad she is in abandoning you and saying anything she did, and show them your sad face to convince them you are the wronged one full of "love" - which by the way is another weapon to fool those that do not despise love and can be reined in by the mere use of the word, to be whipped at your will.
Four, do it over years, decades, until the victim is screaming in agony at your feet, her soul broken, her spirit gone, and she is at your disposal. Then you can be sure you are superior.
Five, and this is important, do not spare your own children. If they do well and might just make you look like you were not the best, try to dissuade them from academia or any achievement that won't be less than your own - and if they are proven failures, insist the bright ones give up their own career and life to serve the ones that have none. When this much is done and all your children can be said to have fallen into your pattern of being no better than you, and only those that obey you in spirit and especially in the vendetta against the brilliant ones are proven successful, insist that the lesser ones are equal and superiority belongs to the obviously lesser ones.
All this makes you not only a horrible person but an evil parent, in destroying your children and their lives - but who cares, you are seen to be and have done your best and in tolerating the unsuccessful or unwilling even a tolerant one, while the brilliant and the good are now seen as evil for having succeeded at all - if you have not destroyed them yet.
Finally, use all possible means to see to it that those that do not follow your commands and whims in destroying anyone and everyone who is good, including their own selves, are destroyed. Use every means, including black magic and worse, for who cares about the backlash on your soul - if you have done all this chances are it is doomed already, if you in fact have one.
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In Marathi there is a very very pitiful phrase, pathetic beyond all possible imagination - to the effect "hit me on my back, master, please don't hit me on my stomach". This amounts to pleading with a master - whether landlord or boss or whatever (India did not have slavery, and those that attempted to bring it did not succeed), to not deprive the poor of their livelihood, of food and means of survival.
It is not supposed to be a plea from a family member, much less a child of one's own blood, to a parent, even a father, however horrible the man.
But the part of my lineage that has anything to do with justice and nobility of spirit is of the mother, and his has only to do with everything I have scrupulously rejected in every way possible - not only deliberately but with instant and innate horror. He had no such compunctions in dealing with those that he could not break for his own use.
And so he used every possible means to hit me in every possible way, over decades, until I now look back in the eve of my life after he has finally left his body - I am not sure he is gone, only the other day my nose was almost broken and if it was not him it had to be another blood relative of his with his powers, perhaps the one who insisted on visiting after having kicked and clawed for decades, perhaps it was to facilitate his coming and staying here to conduct his vendetta now he cannot be seen - and now I see how I was hurt, injured, deprived in every possible way.
He hit everything he could - not merely back (result, broken spine, inability to not merely have a career any further but to work for money at all, inability to conduct a social life and to have a family or home life anything close to normal) but stomach and knees and shoulder - oh, let us not forget the attempt on the nose that included the rest of the body too.
And this after he tried four decades ago to break my head physically by hitting it repeatedly on doors, on walls, for four months and for hours at a time, until I and my mother had to take seriously his ordering me to get out - explicit orders, not merely the sort manoeuvred and implied - so he could begin the serious destruction.
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No wonder I understand the holocaust survivors.
Vendetta Against Better, Superior, Against Peace and Bliss and Joy And Achievements, ..... whose creed was that, except of those that attempted to not merely conquer the world but destroy the very civilisation humanity had achieved, and not merely by brute force, but with a creed of denying and destroying all decency, everywhere, in everyone?
I only wonder, where did these people get it? Or are the seeds everywhere, and one must ever guard oneself even more against an infection of this than an attack by someone infected?
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